My Secret Motivation

I have graciously decided to share with all of you my motivation. The reason I get passed all my awkward moments and failed exams...It's This:

It works in all situations. Let me share...

"oh shoot, I just failed my calculations quiz!" (then I think to my self: I guess i'll just keep calm and fake a British accent. All of a sudden I don't care anymore)

Another...

"There's ants in the bathroom (again!) I swear my roommate is eating in here!" (just keep calm and when you approach her about it, talk in a British accent, it will go much smoother)

One more...

"Gah, my milk is expired because I only eat it with cereal, and when I say 'eat it', i mean drain it from my spoon, dang!" (But what you don't know, is that I said all of that with a British accent so i'm not mad at all anymore!)

Now a fail example:

"oh geez. That really cute, ginger, executive secretary boy is walking my way! If he talks to me i'll just keep calm and fake a British accent." This, my friends, is what i would like to do. Maybe it would score me some cool points. Because in all honesty, who turns their nose up to a British accent?

Alright. Honestly, I just want that framed, hanging in my room. I love funny stuff.

But if you were wondering...

I really do hate calculations.

There really are ants in my bathroom, i sprayed febreeze on them-Dead!

My milk really does expire too fast

I'd rather not talk about the ginger